so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
