its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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