she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
