I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
