Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
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