your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
