We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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