8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
