think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
