I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
