Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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