I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
