We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
