Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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