Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
