so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
