Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
