I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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