yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
