Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
