I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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