How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
