everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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