I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
