He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
