you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
