did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
