Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
