Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
