all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
