Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize