he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
