Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
