Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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