i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
