Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
