Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
