I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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