Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
