I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
