yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
