chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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