you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize