You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
