also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
