Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
