remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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