Duck Duck Cougar?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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