we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
