Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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