theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
