He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
