There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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