I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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