it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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