I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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