In the future we'll all be gay
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize