she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
