I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
