Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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